My friends, they love my intelligence
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
