shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
