so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
