There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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