Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
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