This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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