This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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