I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
