okay pat passed out under dana's car
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
