Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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