I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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