bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
