Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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