Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
