Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
