Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
