I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
