just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
