What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
