U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I will be naked everywhere
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
