Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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