I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
