he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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