Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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