sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
We had sex on a dog bed..
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
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