The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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