Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
