Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Rumble strips road head = magical
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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