I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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