hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
