For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
That reminds me...we need to get swords
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
