the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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