we have officially lost it.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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