You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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