There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize