is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
