I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
