We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
