I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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