I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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