i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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