I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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