Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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