You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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