I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
