Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
and you fell through a lawn chair
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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