drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Randomize
