I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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