and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
