so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
