Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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