Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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