everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
