I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
