Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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