I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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