We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Drunk is a universal language darling
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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