I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
